youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
