do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
