Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
