If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
