oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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