i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
