i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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