Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
How's work?
Spinning.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
