Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
