omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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