Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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