Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
