I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
