You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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