I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
