Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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