Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
