Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
