Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
