I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
