Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Who died my cat blue again?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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