thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Define "chronic" masturbator.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
