I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
