redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
