we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
