No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
