i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
