but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
