If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
