That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
