i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
