did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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