ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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