Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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