Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
