I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
