I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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