this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like death gave me a hand job
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
