p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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