Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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