How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
