I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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