Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
