You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
