That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
