I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize