Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize