I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i may or may not be watching the land before time
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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