So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
