Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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