she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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