im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
