is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
