my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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