Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
