1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
