It's just like the Real World with babies
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
