She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
