woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Let's get the cat blown out
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
