I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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