On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
